Prescription for homesickness

Friday was the first day since I have been here that I felt a little bit homesick.  After a month of trying to be as cool as possible it can get tiring and you just want to be around people who know you.  Homesickness is one of those devilish things that sneaks up on you when you least expect it.  You feel tired, demotivated, and a little bit sad even. It started when I woke up that morning to get ready for work and the surf camp that I was going to attend was cancelled due to RAIN.  I opened my shudders and what did I see? Bamo! Rainbow :)

That brightened my day a bit and I focused on getting ready for work.  When you are homesick, all of a sudden everything gets annoying.  The fact that you have been using the same towel everyday, you hate your flip flops that you wear to the cold shower, you hate the water pressure, you want your own hair dryer, you don't want to take the bus to work, and you are dreading the weekend becauase you have no plans, no friends, and crap weather.  As I am writing this out, you realize how ridiculous it all sounds.  Who cares about any of these things? Danni, you are in Australia for Christ sakes.  Buck up! I cared, because I was homesick and that my friends, is where homesickness is tricky.  It gets you in the smallest yet painful of ways.  I realized that I was the only person who could fix this. Internally, I just wanted to get to work and come straight home and go to bed.  Unnaturally, I did the opposite.  After work I went for drinks with a girl from England and another from Holland who is now living in Hong Kong for work.  We ended up having dinner and a jug of wine.  The next thing I knew I was at a concert with my wild neighbor Jane and some of her friends.  I was out until the wee hours of the morning.  The night was a blast and I awoke with William Hung and his family due to the jug of wine (Thanks Hung family) but voila....no more homesickness.  Here is a pic from the concert. 

I have warded it off this time but I am sure it won't be the last.  The great news is that I have the Dutch girl going sky diving with me hopefully this weekend if the weather turns around.  Life is back to the way it should be. I am going to get pics of the sky dive. Stay tuned! Checking off my bucket list one dream at a time.

An Aussie tip on safety

How funny is this: The American who hasn't drove in almost 4 years and has never been behind the wheel in Australia is creating a training on driving safety and road rules for New South Wales, Australia.  Ha! Therefore, I am doing a lot of research on driving in AUS and safety for children.  The best part about this is the Aussie humor.  On the government website where they have a lot of safety manuals I found this specific driving safety tip hilarious: 

"Keep control over your passengers. While you’re doing the
driving, you make the decisions – not them. If your friends
don’t like the way you drive, or say you drive too slow, try
telling them that they’ll find walking is even slower but
you would be happy to let them out as soon as it is safe
to pull over!"

Gotta love Australia! Lord knows I do.

A new contraceptive!

Do you forget to take the pill? Afraid of getting fat on the shot? Don't want to cough up the money for a nuvaring? Are you not looking to have a little chicken or chickadee running around soon? If you have answered YES  to any of the above questions do I have the solution for you.  A mere one time $30.00 AUD visit to the Sydney Aquarium has a 100% birth control rate.  Why... do you ask? It promotes abstinence.  If any sexual activity can result in having one of those crazy little Aussie chiclets you will stand clear for good. 

Since it is raining koalas and kangaroos I decided to have a "quiet" "serene" day at the world renowned Sydney Aquarium.  Oddly enough, every family in New South Wales had the same exact idea.  Here is how the contraception works:

1. Go to your local aquarium
2. Enter at your own risk
3. Find obnoxious family of 4 that you end up on the same schedule as who you cannot shake no matter how fast or slow you walk
4. Watch, listen, and witness children whining.  Who thought to whine? It is a ridiculous human response to get what you want.  Nails on a chalkboard sounds like massage music compared to kids whining.  
5. Witness 5 year old kids demanding a cup of coffee.  The parents order "baby cappuccinos". Are you serious? 
6. Walk into a tube with clear glass to see sharks, sting rays, sea turtles and kids SCREAM due to trauma of a shark attack.  These kids will never be the same after that... I swear. 
7. Pushing, shoving, screaming, hitting, pinching, and biting were not being done by any fishy that I saw through the glass.  It was like skinny sumo wrestling with Aussie children.  These kids are brutal. 
8. Think about how this could be you .
9. 100% contraception guarantee 

 The whole time I was praying to God that little Jaeger (My friends adorable son) never goes to an aquarium to lose his little gentleman soul.  There were two highlights:
1.  One little girl saw a clown fish and almost wet her pants.  NEMO! I feel bad for whatever guy she dates trying to live up to that level of expectation.
2.  A little boy from Japan grabbed his dad to take a picture in front of the octupus and what did they whip out? The peace sign.

Those were my two lifelines through the entire process.  I know that I haven't really told you about any of the fish that I had seen because I am obsessed with human behavior and I generally go to museums to talk to guards or check out their food courts.  If you didn't know this about me...now you know.

The aquarium itself was EXTREMELY impressive.  The tunnels where you can see the sharks and sting rays were the most memorizing.  The sting rays are HUGE! Bigger than your kitchen table.  Possibly the size of your dining room table.  I am not exaggerating. (Uncle Chip, you would love it here...truly.) Take a look at the slide show and you can see the tunnels. Many of the pics that I was taking the fish were either right next to me or on top of my head.   The natural salt water from the ocean flows into the tanks which is there claim to fame.  I couldn't help but feel sorry for the fish but they were beautiful nonetheless.  Here are some of the coolest pictures if you cannot see the slide show for some reason.

If you are having trouble seeing my pictures, try using Firefox as your browser instead of IE.  It makes a big difference. :)

Still deaf.  Raining like crazy.  Busy at work.  Accidentally watched youtube for 4 hours.  I love it when that happens.

Look through the trees

Did you ever notice that when you are on a mission and walking to get there that you don't notice a thing on your way? You don't take in the shops, cars, people, sights, etc. I noticed that I walk with my head down and my mind is in the clouds half of the time that I need to open my eyes and look at what is around me. Yesterday, I was walking to the fruit and vegetable market to pick up some produce and it started to rain. It woke me out of my coma and I saw a rainbow. It was beautiful. I then turned my head to look down the street and caught this beautiful view of the city. This is all right down the street from my house. Well, Jan Cuke's house but you know what I mean.

It is like I am seeing everything for the first time.  I remember this feeling from studying abroad and traveling in the past.  Traveling just has that ability to do that for you.  On that note, when are you coming to Sydney?

Bless my cotton socks!

It all started with an invite to eat steaks with the cast from Tap Dogs. Tap Dogs consists of a cast of 8 young male professional tap dancers. Due to the fact that the cast is SO buff and they are on a strict diet to be super hot for the show that starts in London, they were unable to attend. Bugger! One of the guys in the show was from SYTYCD in Australia and I wanted to meet them so badly. Crazy neighbor Jane’s friend Mandy is working for the show and she said that she can do one step better. I am going to go see a private rehearsal of the show before they take off to London! So, I guess I just had to settle for dinner.

Well, that was eaaaaazzzzzzyyyy! (Matt and Steph R. that one is for you) Mandy’s brother is the restaurant manager at a great steak house called Kingsleys. We ate right on the water where Russell Crow lives and I guess when he is in town he is a regular. I didn’t see him though I plan to go back and hunt for a sighting. Here is a picture taken from our table of the night skyline. Look at that moon!

After garlic prawns, a loaf of bread, crab cakes, grilled octopus, burrata cheese with 20 year aged balsamic, a rib eye steak for 1 with béarnaise sauce, steamed broccoli, potato gratin, cauliflower, cheesecake, crème brulee, a cheese plate, and 4 bottles of wine we decided to call it a night. Ask me what I paid….$60.00! Tim gave us half of the lot for free! Meet Tim and Mandy.

Here is the crew! Mandy is the blonde that looks like Nicole Schroeder. The director of the show is the red head. They are both English. Jen is Jane’s friend with the long brown hair and the blonde so graciously cupping my boob (thank goodness for the padded bra, I couldn’t even feel it) is crazy Jane. Here is a picture of us laying upside down on the warf. You can see the city….upside down. Good one Jane! :)

We had so much fun and lively conversation. 2 Aussies, 2 Brits, and a Yank together for steaks. It looks like I landed on my feet in Australia. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Like Jane would say, “Bless your cotton socks!”

Luke, I am your father

Luke...that is his name. My faithful, loyal coffee guy.  He was chatting me up about my crappy license picture (NY nonetheless)  that has my dream catcher enormous green earing full frontal next to my fat face.  He was  laughing at me to my face that I had to ask him his name.  He said, "Alfonso".  I thought to myself, I love this fact, naturally his name is Alfonso.  Go figure I find the EYEtalian coffee man in all of Australia.  I cannot even make this up.  My reply, "Of course you are Alfonso...that is exactly what I was thinking.  Can you make my flat white a strongy?"  He said in an Australian accent, "Please don't call me Alfonso.  It's Luke."  Simone introduced herself and he asked her if she was American.  She said, "No...Australian."  He laughed and then said that his brother was named Simon so he would remember her. I thought he said that his SON was named Simon but found out that it was his brother.  He was far too young to be having a little chicken running around. Poor Simone, her accent has flattened out because she is a world traveler and is a smoking hot babe dating men from across the land that Australian's cannot recognize her origin.  Luke.... what does he know? Who knew he was such a comedian.  Don't worry... my next goal is a picture.  It will come. :)

The buses have elevated seating.  Long story short... I fell out of my seat.  It takes sharp turns, it was raining, I had a ton of crap with me and I plunked onto the floor.  Fortunately I have a lot of padding protecting my skeletal structure so I was in good shape physically (in a bright red coat, black dress and stockings and BRIGHT white sneakers... I looked like a nana but didn't care) just my ego was bruised.  It felt like EVERYONE on the bus saw the shananingans (word sponsered by Simone) and asked if I was okay.  IDIOT! I am like a walking Seinfeld episode...I swear the sitcom was the prophisee of my life.  The next thing you know I will be writing you about how I asked the woman in the stall next to me to "spare a square." Heyzeus Christo!

Clothes still wet and I still cannot hear out of my right ear.  It has been raining cats and dogs but life is still grand.  I have to say that it is fascinating how much perspective one can get in 2.5 weeks.  My manager was telling me that Australia would give me "perspective."  To be honest, I initially took this cryptic notion to be negative like I was a bit of a moron but ultimately it turns out that this is the life rehab that I really did need.  The Warden sent me this great email today and there was a saying that was near and dear to me:

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"

Dance with the devil.  You can buy cool shoes.

Thai food = yes Thailand = no

So I am trying to plan where I am going to travel once my holiday in Australia ends...ha! I have always dreamed of going to Thailand.  I don't know what it is about Thailand that has always been so attractive to me but that is on my bucket list.  Too bad there is so much unrest in Bangkok right now that we currently have travel warnings.  Go figure. Someday it will happen.

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_4888.html

Raining buckets.  As my colleague Simone says, "It's total carnage!"  Love it! Contemplating Fiji or New Zealand to leave Australia for visa purposes and then fly back to hit up the Great Barrier Reef and wine country before I head back to the good ole USA to see you fine folks.  If you have been to any of these places, feel free to share your thoughts.

Greece is still on the table to spend time with the Countouris family if all else fails. 

Tough life. Still deaf. Coffee guy knows my name now.  I just have to ask him his.  That will be this afternoon's mission. 

Rain, rain, go away

Raining, it is raining like Halloween in New England.  Scary how quickly the weather changes from tropic sun to the autumn.  My clothes on the line...soaking wet.  I probably have to wash them again and go through this process yet again. I cannot wait to use a dryer. Even if my clothes are clean and wrinkle free I am going to burn up the energy and just dry clothes because I can come September.  The things we take for granted sometimes. 

Other differences that I have noticed:

• Aussies do not refrigerate their eggs
• Money: They have coins ranging as high as $2.00 to 5 cents.  The 50 cent coin is the biggest, the $2.00 coin is a little pip squeak, and the $1.00 coin is in between.  Mine as well throw in a 20, 10, and 5 cent piece for good measure.  The good thing is that all of the coins say how much they are worth so you are good to go.  Naturally, I spilled my money all over the floor getting lunch the other day and usually I don't care but when you drop coins it could be $20.00! Fascinating...
• Margerine is still considered healthy.  I am telling everyone they are going to die from it and to have some real pure butter in their life. 
• Bacon is thick, hearty, meaty bacon instead of our scrawny stupid bacon strips. BUT they don't cook it.  It is a bit raw and fatty but it goes down nonetheless.
• People say please, thank you, and smile ALWAYS.  This is no NYC people.  They are respectful and easy going.  So nice.  I love this part.
• Tan...the Australian tan is alive and well.  People are also very fit which is motivating to squeeze my fat bum in my sweater dress to a smaller size.

I still don't feel like I am half-way across the world nor does it feel like you are all far away either.  Amazing what the internet can do for ya.  I found out that my mobile phone is super expensive to dial internationally so I am going to buy a calling card moving forward.  If you see a random number calling you...pick it up.  It's me!

Eat butter and use the dryer.  Still deaf...I don't even remember what it was like to hear anything. 

Shrimp on the Barbie

As much as I have been trying to lay off the carbs I have failed pretty happily this week.  Jess was here from Switzerland and we had a great time eating, cooking, shopping, and walking around from one culinary delight to the next. 

The fish market had to have been the highlight for me.  See all of the great pictures. 



I have been staring at Host Family handbooks and LCC trainings, not so much in the mood for writing but wanted to share some great pics from the weekend.

More to come. Still deaf.

I have a cell phone

Email me and I will give you the phone #.  I cannot call internationally until I get a calling card but you can call me.  I am not sure how much it is going to cost you so don't break the bank on it but know that it is no longer radio silence.  It does not have voicemail yet and as ghetto as it may be...I have one. :)

Un"officially" an Aussie resident

What makes me a resident you ask?

I was walking to the bus this morning and I recognized Joyce (my neighbor's dog) on the sidewalk and I looked up to see Jane (my hilarious super Aussie neighbor).  We embraced, chatted, she told me about the 16 year old AUS girl who sailed around the world alone for 6 months and is docking on Saturday morning so we MUST go into the city for the all day, all night party.  It's going to be MAD, totally FAR OUT! Jane is hands down one of the funniest people I ever met.  She is super tall, super slim, super blond, and just flat out super. Hilarious!  

Then I proceed to the bus stop and he wasn't letting people on for having the wrong bus pass.  I knew for sure I was going to get booted but he said, "Nope, you are a local."  YES! I am a local.  I was so proud.

To top it all off when I walked into the cafe where I get my morning coffee he just handed it to me when I got to the front of the line.  This my friends, is the official stamp of approval.  Take it from a former coffee slinger.  When your coffee shop knows how you like your coffee, you have formally been dubbed "a regular."  YES! I am a regular! It is so silly that these little things can make one so happy.  It does.  It really, really does.  Now, my next goal is for them to know my name.  I will keep you posted.

On the note of keeping you posted, I hope you are all enjoying this blog.  It is really fun for me to write and I love hearing your comments.  It is an easy way to update all of you on what is going on in the land down under but I want there to be no mistake that this is not a substitute for human interaction.  I will still be calling, skyping, emailing, writing cards/postcards to you because I believe that blogging has it's place but it should not be a substitute but a supplement.

On that note...THANK YOU ALL FOR MY CARDS! You all know how much I love a good ole greeting card with a photo that looks like you took it because it is so perfect or with that funny saying that is truly personalized to us.  Thank you to the sales team, Ann, Ashley, Courtney, Marti, Jess, and SHARON for the cards! They truly made my day.  Sharon, I have the picture hanging up in my room that the boys made for me.  Love it, love it, love it!

For the bad news...I couldn't sleep last night because we are doing this Social Media coaching club back in the US that I am participating in to learn more about FB, Twitter, etc. and I am realizing that I may HAVE to go on FB to "manage my reputation."  I cannot explain why I am so upset about this but I am.  I know I would be happy reconnecting with certain old friends on FB but there is no privacy anymore.  The reason why I think I am so unnerved about the FB thing is that even though Danni Ward does not have a set profile, it does not mean that my photos, stories, sound bites do not show up for the world to see regardless.  So I can choose, to be ignorant to the fact that it is going on or manage it myself. UGH! My plight in rebelling against society is wearing thin. 

My horoscope today:
"You may feel as though all eyes are on you -- and though that is likely an exaggeration, someone is surely watching your every move."


Ain't it the truth.  Miss you all!

Still deaf.

Sky diving is not the prescription for deafness...bugger!

My officemates Simone and Jess, were worried about the fact that I have been deaf for 10 days straight with no light at the end of the tunnel and talked me into going to the Dr. 

1. When I arrived they had scheduled me for next Tuesday and not today...oops.
2. They were able to get me in regardless and told me that I didn't have to fill anything out because I had been there before.. I had?
3.  When I told them I had just arrived they said ok, perhaps you should fill out a form...ya think?
4.  $75.00 AUD for the "consultation" was the cost
5.  The doc who looked younger than me looked in my ears with the ear probe lense scope thingy (yes that is the technical term) and told me, "You really pissed off your ear drum on the right side.  You bruised it badly but it is currently yellow and green opposed to blue and purple so you are toward the end of it now.  Don't fly or scuba dive for a month and it should take about 3 weeks for it to clear up.  You just have to wait and take this over the counter antihistamine."

Fine. I am fine. I knew it was nothing and now I just have to wait it out.  The downside to this whole situation is that I can't go sky diving this weekend.  I had my sales pitch all cued up to convince Jess that this Saturday was the big Sydney moment to drop out of the sky and make a memory but...all plans have come to a hault.  It may be whale watching instead.  Exciting but not as thrilling as the sky drop. I am sure my Aunt is happy to hear that whale watching will be my activity of choice opposed to sky diving. :)

Still deaf and will get that sky diving in if it is the last thing I do.  

Winter in Sydney

Any questions?

Head Torch + Worm Farm = F.U.N

So kind of Tricia (Country Program Manager for AP Australia) to invite the AP team over for dinner on Saturday night. Mel picked me up and I sat in the back seat of her car while we she sat on the right hand side of the car and drove on the left side of the rode. Needless to say I had my head hanging out the window of the backseat like a dog trying not to puke. Car sickness is brutal as it is but when you are all backward…don’t try it. I lived to tell the tale however and crushed some cheese crackers chased by some champagne to lighten the blow. Works everytime. Dinner was delicious and the company was lovely but there was an absolute highlight!

Tricia’s husband Michael whipped out this awesome head torch! (Rach, do you love this or what?! I thought of you immediately from that “Shock your Mama” party we had in college. This headlight is legit!) Michael had 2 lenses on this bad boy – focus and diffuse said in an Australian accent which makes it absolutely hilarious. Plus they call it a torch…love it! He proceeded to tell me that he had a worm farm in the backyard. Michael and I strapped on our head torches and proceeded to said worm farm. Aussie’s build this farm to eat their compost and then they essentially take the “worm pee” and put it in their gardens as fertilizer. Sound gross? It is actually fascinating. Loved every minute of it. Come to find out the head torch is around $100.00 AUD so I won’t be getting one of those any time soon but had to share my excitement.


Life = grand. I love my colleagues, I love Jan, I love my new job, I love where I live, I love the weather, I live down the street from a yoga studio, I live 45 seconds from the bay, I live 78 seconds from a gourmet kitchen shop and herb & spice shop that offers cooking classes, and all of my underwear is currently hanging outside on the clothes line and I feel like a million euro. Wish you were here!

Stink out at the zoo

I have never been an animal lover but I have to say that the Taronga Zoo is one of the most impressive displays of animals from around the world that I have ever seen. Not only were the animals impressive but the views of Sydney that we saw on the ferry, in the sky cab, and throughout the zoo. Check out some of them here:





Meet Keleigh!

She is an American who married an Australian and is currently working for Au Pair. Keleigh is from the Cape originally and has been here for over 2 years. She is a doll and when I was talking up the zoo she could not resist. (I made a pretty good sales pitch about Mr. Shuffles who was the baby elephant that they thought was still born but TA DA…miracles happen every day and now we have Mr. Shuffles.) See Mr. Shuffles below. Mr. Shuffles was Keleigh’s highlight of the day and my highlight was ….Keleigh! Yup, I am fairing fine on my own and the results are back that I am obsessed with people. I am a social creature who does not need time to myself because life is much more fun when others are around to share it with. I know you introverts think I am crazy (Jen/Meggy) but I am who I am. Bring on the friends!

I have a massive amount of pics from the zoo which I posted on my “new page” titled photos so you can zip through them to see the love when you are on a conference call, should be cooking dinner, or supposed to be studying for an exam etc. It is a nice distraction and they are truly AMAZING!

However, I have decided to show you my very special series here in this post called:


My humor is wacked…I know this. (This series is for you Courtney!) Enjoy!

What? I can’t hear you. Still deaf.

Roaches and Spiders and Sharks...Oh My!

If you are a critter lover…do not read on. Uncle, you will like this one…There I was, on the phone with Verizon to suspend my mobile service and a beast from the east approaches. I thought I left that pesky scoundrel back in Harlem but the king pest about the size of my thumb waltzed across my desk. I was on the phone at this point and was rushing to find my camera to document the moment. The little bastard was so fast that I was only able to capture a couple of pics of the King Roach.

King Roach waltzed into my co-workers chair never to be seen again. I looked for it all day to resurrect from the depths of the chair so I could initiate the 3 prong approach. Capture – Kill – Conquer. No sight of him…long live the king.

I told everyone I worked with about the fella and showed the pics to prove it. They said that won’t be the last time and that Sydney is infested with roaches and spiders that are HUGE. I am not scared…next time I will be ready with my camera and then will initiate the 3 prong approach on any of these critters. Harlem has made me a maniac with these bugs and they have met their match.

Simone told me that this is nothing and the sharks is what you really have to be careful of. I will heed warning this weekend at Bondi Beach where there are sharks a plenty.

Here is the beautiful office that we sit in and await our next encounter.

Still deaf.

1st Day in the office

After 6 years of working at EF I had my very first day in a new office.  I forgot what it was like to wake up and not know where you are going, who you are going to meet, and what to expect for the day at your workplace.  I have to say...I loved that feeling! 

I took the bus in, walked around the harbor before heading into the office so naturally I was in a full body sweat. MELTING.  I walked info the wrong offiice (The ILS school next door and roamed around 3 floors until I finally asked someone where to find CCAP) and eventually learned that it was the building next door.  Jack pot! I walked in and a young woman was on the phone and signaled for me to sit down next to her.  I had to take off my cardigan and dab the beads of sweat off of my face.  Fortunately, I upgraded on my deoderant prior to this trip so I was just dealing with perspiration.  How embarrassing!!! I asked her where I could find Tricia and she laughed, "I am Tricia." Smooth Danni, 2 points for being slick rick. 

There are about 10 people on the floor both High School Year and Cultural Care combined. EF has this culture about it that no matter where in the world you are you can find people who are cut from the same cloth. Very refreshing and remarkable at the same time. 

First day was training.  I was actually training the new hire for Au Pair Australia (That is what we are calling the inbound program).  Simone is lovely and picking everything up super fast.  It must because due to her experienced trainer. 

After my thousand dollar salad I came into the office to such a delectable treat.  Someone said that there was a delivery and I thought it was for Trish.  I saw this plant on the table and commented, "Wow, someone really loves you."  Again, Trish laughed and said that the plant had always been there and pointed to flowers addressed to ME! 3 points for slick Danni.  MORON!

My lovely, lovely, dear friends and colleagues from the Boston office sent me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers.  THANK you so much MARTHA for thinking of me and to all of you for sending these flowers.  They are still on my desk and they look beautiful.  I took pictures of the flowers, Simone, and Trish below (in that order) so you can see them.

One final note of the first day to top it all off.  Yes my friends, it is true.  I have an office.  Simone and I have a quaint office in the corner with a window, filling cabinets, a printer, and all the fixings for us.  After 6 solid devoted years and a flight across the world I am off the floor and "temporarily" in an office.  I am going to milk this for what it's worth.  YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Something so small can make such a big difference...remember this. :)

My Home Down Under

So, here is the new home down under with Jan Cuke and Bella!



Come and visit!

Deaf in Beautiful Sydney!

I still don’t know how to access my blog to upload this entry nor can I hear a thing out of my right ear. Poor Jan has to walk on my left side so I can hear her. She still cannot understand me because I continue to have this cold and though her hearing is fine I think my accent is crappy and come to find out I think I mumble. After all this time, no one ever told me that I was mumbling my words. I don’t know how all of you have dealt with it for so long. It could just be because I hear a constant echo in my head due to the blocked ear. I have tried popping them by dancing around, hanging upside down, holding my nose until a vein almost popped in my head. It got so bad that I had to lay down because I thought I was going to faint. Still deaf…right ear. If you have a solution, I am jonesin’ for one. My patience is being tested and you all know that I have none.


Now that I got the poison out today was amazing. I woke up at 6:30 am because of the time difference but was good to go. Some cockatoos woke me up. I thought it was Jan’s cell phone but come to find out it is actually nature around these parts. I went for a walk to get money which was about 3 km. I have no clue how far that is but when Australian’s say something is close they mean it is far. Whatever Jan says I have learned to double it…possible 2.5 times the length of time stated. Jan says, the bank is a 10 minute walk. (about 2 miles away) Walking into city center of Sydney is only a 20 minute walk. (It took 15 mins by bus). The walk from the ferry to home is just a “quick walk” (over a half hour uphill. I was sweating so much that we stopped into a café for water b/c she knows the people that work there). I had to shower after the walking tour which was “quick”. Jan is just so adorable.

Anywho… Sydney was the destination of the day. I pray to God that I have a lunch break daily because by golly I am going to take it. The office is 30 seconds from the water, harbor, shopping, and downtown area. It is in Circular Quay. I cannot explain it. See for yourself.


Still no internet or phone. Radio silence until Tuesday.
What? I can’t hear you! Still deaf in the right ear.

Half way across the world

Arrived and was feeling good except for the simple fact that I was so congested that I am deaf in both ears. I cannot hear myself and everyone keeps saying “eh” when I talk to them so I have to repeat myself. I am not sure if it is because I am speaking softly or if my accent sounds like a foreign language. Either way…communication is already an issue.

Some immediate observations:
• Toilets flush like a raging waterfall and cannot tell the direction in which it flows. I have done several tests and the results are consistent as listed above.
• Australians don’t use dryers for their clothes. My underwear will be streaming along the backyard of Jan Cuke’s or it looks like I am never going to wash anything or will be buying replacements.
• High heels are welcome if not mandatory in the airport.
• Look right prior to crossing the street if you want to remain alive.
• You can sit in the front seat of the cab which is like being the driver in the US.
• Australians love to go on strike and verbally confront issues if they hate them. I love that.
• Vegemite is alive and well. When I arrived Jan had the mitey toast. So perfect.

Meet Jan Cuke, my new host for the next 3 months.

Jan is amazing and was so great when I first arrived. She drove me around Rozelle and then we went to an outdoor market to buy fresh food, and then I walked a dog! Yes, that’s right…my first time walking a dog named Joyce. Jan’s dog is named Bellla. You can see her below. 

 Jan hangs out with her neighbor Jane all the time and they are besties that just walk in and out of each other’s homes taking their dogs, dropping them off, etc. We walked into Jane’s house and Jane was yelling down the stairs to us and we had no clue why she wasn’t coming down. Turns out she was in the shower. She just kept yelling down to us and she was laughing hysterically. I still haven’t formally met Jane but I cannot wait.

My first supper…pasta of course with my fresh veggies that I bought from the outdoor market about a block away from me that is open on Saturdays. Jan has a herb garden out in her back yard. I am abusing the basil putting it in my dinner and my water. I am pretending that I am at a spa. I am trying to force myself to stay awake until 7 pm to fight the jet lag. I have to say that I am feeling awake and the fact that I am a night owl may be working to my advantage. I ate in silence. I cannot tell you how long it has been that I have:

a) Been alone
b) Been alone and cooked for myself
c) Been alone, cooked for myself, and had no one to call or vice versa

Silence is not all that bad. Especially when you are deaf in both ears and no one can understand you as it is. I look at the Sydney Morning Herald which is dubbed the “newspaper of the year” and it had the most sick and twisted headline that I have ever seen. Rape of a woman in skinny jeans ‘not possible’ The article proceeded to explain that in 3 countries (Australia, Italy, and Korea). Korea overturned a conviction of a 7 year prison sentence due to skinny jeans. Italy said that skinny jeans cannot be mistaken for a chastity belt. The article did not state whether or not the 24 yr old Australian man was convicted or not. Are you kidding me? What if a girl was wearing nylons? Tights? Leggings, Unitard? I am sorry for the heavy topic but I could not believe my eyes.

Even though I am so far away physically it really does not feel like another world. It reminds me much of San Francisco if I had to compare it to another place. It is hilly, on the water, and very eclectic. I will send pics but I am still a bit delusional. PS Someone is using a chainsaw out of my window that is not annoying at all. ;)

Sorry this is so long. It is my first time.